


Break Down a Door

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending...?, I think?, M/M, Not AU, Not Beta'd, Open to Interpretation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 20:56:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6255505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>could you be happy here with me?</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break Down a Door

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elrhiarhodan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrhiarhodan/gifts).



> written for elrhiarhodan from a list of 20 prompts I generated. as is par for course with my barrison2 fics, it's really narrative/harry-feels heavy and only has a been of real dialogue at the end. hope you like it!

Harry knows it’s cruel but he can’t really help it. He pretends not to hear those seven words every time Barry says them—which is impressive, because Barry says them a lot, often, all the fucking time really. Harry knows it’s cruel to ignore him but Barry isn’t calling him on it and that makes it almost too easy to keep ignoring those seven words.

_Could you be happy here with me?_

Harry knows without a doubt, he could. He could be happy anywhere with Barry because it’s _Barry_ that makes the world worth seeing. Jesse too, of course. She lights up his world and has since the day she was born. Barry lights up his world in a different way, the same kind of way Tess did. Harry knows with every fiber of his being that living on Earth-1 with Barry would make him happy.

In theory, it would be easy and happy and perfect. That’s a theory, though, and Harry is too scared to test it out. He’s scared of hurting Barry more than he already has. He’s scared of damaging Barry worse, tipping him over the ledge and beyond repair. The thing between them is fragile, new, and tentative. Harry agreeing to stay on Earth-1 would definitely solidify this _thing_ between them, but Harry isn’t sure he wouldn’t break it in record time.

_Could you be happy here with me?_

Barry never stops asking. Harry had hoped he would, had hoped that Barry would give up after a few weeks or few months of no answer. But Barry doesn’t. If anything, he asks more often. He starts texting or emailing it to Harry at the most random of times. Harry wonders if there’s a quota Barry has set for himself that he’s got to fill every day. It’s amusing at first and sad in the afterthought.

It’s made worse by the fact that everyone else clearly hears it. Barry isn’t trying to hide it, even if he never asks right in front of the others. Barry will drag Harry from the Cortex—as if that isn’t suspicious enough—and takes him only far enough that no one can immediately see them. Then, Barry asks or shouts or stage-whispers those seven fucking words and Harry has to go back to the Cortex looking like the biggest asshole in the universe.

Somehow, Barry never really tries to corner him. Barry always gives him a way out, a small space to sneak away without giving an answer. Even when Barry asks him in the most intimate moments, Barry leans away and leaves a space for Harry to hide in. It’s ridiculous and Harry hates that it makes it so much easier. If Barry would scream at him, hold him down and demand an answer, cry and never let him leave until getting a god damn answer—that would be better. But that’s not who Barry is, never has been and never will be.

_Could you be happy here with me?_

Harry knows he should ask Jesse. She’s safe now and follows at his heels in a way she never did before. She’s scared and he doesn’t blame her. There’s one breach left, hidden and secluded and if Harry wants he could take Jesse and never look back. He could go home and close the breach after and it would be done. But he can’t do that anymore than Barry can demand a real answer.

As it is, Jesse knows the question is haunting her father. Barry doesn’t keep it under wraps and now that Jesse hangs around STAR Labs she’s pretty up to date on the latest dirty laundry. She doesn’t approach Harry about it, though. She waits and feigns dumb whenever Barry tries to direct the question at her. Of course, when it’s directed at her, it’s less loaded and less desperate. She deflects it regardless and always stares at Harry when it happens. Harry knows he should ask Jesse so after far too long, he does.

She slaps him upside the head, hugs him, says _I love you_ and _you’re an idiot_ in the same single breath. She doesn’t give him a straight answer either and Harry sees too much of himself in her. She smiles at him, though, and rubs his shoulder, and looks far too wise for her seventeen years. It’s not a straight answer but she definitely isn’t saying _let’s go back_. It’s good enough for Harry.

_Could you be happy here with me?_

Harry wonders if he should make a big deal out of it, maybe with roses or candles or other romantic nonsense. He gets Jesse out of the house for the weekend and invites Barry over. The guilt eats at him worse than ever when Barry agrees with no hesitation and an abundance of excitement. Even after this ridiculous game Harry has been playing, Barry wants to see him more than anyone else and Harry feels dizzy. It feels like too much power. It feels like Barry is always giving him too much especially for someone who is so young and has hurt so much. Harry decides romantic nonsense is still nonsense, and there’s been enough of that already.

Barry doesn’t ask the whole night. Not once. Not at the door, not at the dinner table. Not as they watch TV or when they start to make out lazily on the couch. It doesn’t even seem to be lingering on the tip of Barry’s tongue and it terrifies Harry. His mind races and he hates it because he’s supposed to the adult; he shouldn’t be panicking. But he can’t help it. He can’t help but wonder if this is the last time he’ll see Barry. He can’t help but wonder if Barry will break it off after this, if he’ll say _we can still be friends_ like every cliché demands. Barry doesn’t ask after they’ve both come and are wrapped up in the comforter of Harry’s bed.

_Could you be happy here with me?_

“I could.” Harry eventually replies. The moon is heavy in the air and casts a silver glow in the room. Barry’s breathing had evened out but he’s not asleep. Harry knew it even before Barry’s body tensed. “I could be happy here with you.” Barry is tucked against his chest and Harry pulls him closer so he won’t have to meet his eyes. He’s too ashamed for having let this go one so long. “I _am_ happy here with you.” Harry clutches tighter, scared of Barry drifting away. “I am happy here with you.”

Barry doesn’t move. He doesn’t look up or force Harry to look at him. He does seem to cling a little more, but that’s all. If not for that subtle movement, Harry wouldn’t be sure he was heard at all. He speaks again,

“I am so happy, because of you.” His voice gets caught in his throat.

Barry replies without missing a beat. “I know.”


End file.
